Cheers to a Great Beginning!

So today marks the very first day of 2019 and how time flies! and I just noticed that the last post I ever done here was back in Feb 2018. Anyway, I'm not here today to write a long list of new year resolutions like I always did in the past. I mean, it is not new year resolution but more like a lifelong goal.

I remember I used to write things like "Oh I want a fitter body, better physique" "I want to travel to somewhere new this year" "I want to earn more money!" and guess what happened at the end of the year? barely 70% of them are achieved. I thought about it for awhile, all these resolutions all these goals and expectation, why do we need to wait till before a new year starts then only we start realizing hey I'm going to do it in a brand new year cause it meant a new start! I thought it is suppose to be something that's on going, not something that you only been reminded of when it is almost coming to an end.

So this year I have no any special resolutions made, I only have one goal to meet.

"To be true and kind to myself"

Because this is when you start talking and listening to yourself, not being told what you should or shouldn't do by those voices around you. 

Of course I have so many things I wish to achieve in the coming years, but I first need to learn how to be true to myself. For me it is the right step that I should take if I'm really expecting a better year ahead! It is ok to stop and ponder for awhile, it is ok to take a break, it is okay to take it slow. You will get there anyway, what matters most is not always about how fast and easy you get to the destination, it is when you start appreciating the beautiful little things you meet along the way. 

Beginner to Intermediate

Hey to my non existed readers/followers (I don't know if anyone still read blog now)

It has been awhile since the last update about my Korean language learning progress, so I'm here to update a little. 

I had actually completed the beginner level (equivalent to TOPIK Level 1 & 2) in last year November in KLH before I flew off to Korea for my trip. And I also took the TOPIK I exam in last October and passed the exam with a Level 2, am very satisfied with the results although I secretly aimed for full marks but I'm finally another step closer to my goal.

To be honest, it was not easy to keep this going because of the sounds coming around. People asked and wondered about my purpose of doing Korean language, they have doubts on my decision. I did got lost for awhile so I actually stopped all my classes after coming back from my trip and have yet to sign myself up for the Intermediate class. 

I asked myself, what exactly was the purpose of me first started joining the class? I did not have a certain answer till today. But along the way I realized, you don't always need an ultimate goal or a valid/practical reason for you to learn something do you? It is kinda similar as you don't expect your kid grow up to be the next Van Gogh when you send them to art classes, so you get my point here?

Learning is the fun part of living, and I sometimes find it dreadful to learn if you were to do it because of some other purposes. I find joy in learning languages I don't need a reason, and I'm not responsible for the answers either. People find joy in cooking so they attend cooking classes, does that make them a chef? Not really. 

I see myself as who I really am when I'm picking a new languages, I like how I go from not knowing a single thing about a new language to finally being able to read and understand. It is an adventurous event to me. As I'm writing this post I have finally gathered enough courage to sign up for the Intermediate class, it is just going to tougher but I really can't wait!

And I can't wait for my next adventure!! 

Quarter life crisis? Yes? No?

I read a post this afternoon, it meant something like this :

We should never rush ourselves into the stages of how the commons would go just because "Ah everyone is going that way so I should too!"
Everyone has and should have their own timeline, no one is ever meant to follow the same suit as the other. I mean WHO the hell said that getting married at the age of 28 and being successful by the age of 30 equals to "Living a good life/Fulfilling the purpose of life/Achieving the lifegoals etc etc" the list goes on I suppose.

It hit me right away?

I was like that, well I mean I might be having the same thought still.

I was brought up in a very typical traditional chinese family which you rarely get complimented on your achievement cause that's your duty as a child, in fact feeling worried about making mistakes or taking the wrong steps because yea again your duty as a child is NOT to make a single mistake and be well.
I grow up being questioned about every decision I make, from the choice of major, choice of school, choice of friends, boyfriends, choice of words. Yes almost all of them. I didn't mean that all of those brought any hazards to me or my life and of course they all meant good in their own ways. Because I know Asian parents are set to bring kids up that way. There is no right of wrong is just a different way of education.

I'm not blaming anyone on this but this kind of background has eventually making me fear of everything I do. From the simplest thing of choosing a pair of shoes to choosing a master degree or a school. I fear of the uncertainties, I fear of the "unforeseen" failures or traps as I was always told. I fear of being again said "told you to not do this, now you see!" And I'm trapped...

And now I can't even choose for myself what the best for me? I'm being told to follow their choice their decision just because it is the road MORE taken. hmm ok? I'm not even sure I will end up regretting doing it or not doing it.

I am always living in regrets, and it doesn't help in moving on at all. Where would this stop? When would I ever stop hearing these noises around my head? When would I ever pick up the courage to take the first step?

渡

現在是深夜1點30分，小小惡魔又在偷襲著我的腦袋。
畢業至今已經4個月有餘，我也陷入了前所未有的低潮期。
我失去對一切事物的渴望，放任自己發胖，發嬾，發脾氣。
時間很多，綽綽有餘我卻在放肆揮霍。我都在自我安慰，時間還多得很。
工作了3個月，除了不斷發現自己有多不足，有多無能以外，毫無收穫。
現在工作的地方和我相像中不太一樣，但也是預料中的事。我的無能，無力，造就了我的畏畏縮縮。我面對難題的逃避，我拒絕成長的抗拒，每一份每一秒都在心裏上演無數場劇。

也許，我很幸運，才初入社會不算太凶險，安穩過日，上班下班，準時發薪。
下班后又是繼續發懶，無所事事。給自己找各種藉口不做任何工作以外的事。對，什麽都不做就是發懶，睡覺時間到上床閉眼睛。我比機械人更無趣吧。
這是社會新鮮人該有的樣子嗎？我以爲我是想象中每天穿得光鮮亮麗，自信光彩地踏出家門，晚上應該會是一種已使盡全力拖著疲憊卻收穫滿滿的身子回家。事實卻是相反。
我再也無力去整理自己的外貌，頭髮一扎，衣服亂套就出門。天啊，我以前就算熬夜再去上課也會擦個口紅吧？？

好討厭現在的自己，懦弱怕事。想做的很多，卻一拖再拖，根本沒有認真去實踐。從前衝勁十足的自己呢？他走了？還是躲起來了？很不服氣，卻也無奈。我連學韓語都提不起勁，到底怎麽了？這個夜晚好難熬，好難過。看似漫長可好不容易睡下又要醒來面對主宰著現今所有的負面情緒。
這是你該有的樣子嗎？？也許是不是該勇敢跨出那一步？生活也許不能太舒適，你會忘了當初讓你拼命的初衷。

載浮載沉的小小船

距離上一個post也有一段時間了，我也不知不覺韓文讀了快一年。
上了四個學期的課，最後一堂也在昨天圓滿完成了。
哦對了，我也忘了聊聊我的近況。（雖然感覺大家不太想知道 *擦淚*）
因爲工作的緣故我目前會定居在家鄉啦啦啦 （就是留在家繼續當蛀米蟲的意思）
很順利也很幸運地找到了工作 （eh 説好的放縱半年頹廢過日呢？*攤手*）沒辦法啊就，老爸老媽都希望我快點滾出去 ~~~ （開玩笑啦，哪裏可能）
目前任職于architecture firm做著本行。還不錯啦一切，輕松了許多沒有太大的壓力了。

至於韓文呢，回來的時候思前顧后了很多也因爲金錢上的考量差點就要換回去自學了。可想想多可惜啊，我好不容易進步了很多的說。
結果在某人的金錢上資助下，我還是順利地多上了一個學期，還報考了10月的TOPIK Exam。
現在還有一個月左右的時間來做準備，希望能夠全力以赴啊。（因爲我沒錢重考啊 *哭*）

你説我這小小的夢想怎麽就能說放棄就放棄，也許真的微不足道，可也是我努力下去的動力。果然夢想不便宜啊，真的不能讓自己變窮。

上課的9個月來，你問我到底學了什麽？我看我們要聊個幾天才行。我學到的何止是課業上的進步，心得和想法上的轉變才是這一年最大的收穫。我不再糾結讀不讀語言這件事了，衹要可以天天做著喜歡的，就算衹是個陪襯的副業我也終究相信自己的能力。不需要什麽證明去告訴自己到底值不值得。在最忙的architecture最後一個學期我也兼顧到了繼續上我的韓文課，還有什麽理由讓自己動上放棄的念頭？

也許這承載這我小小夢想的船現在游走得還是載浮載沉的，但總有一天它會穩定下來，漸漸地往岸邊駛去。加油！

安

我回來了~~~！終於可以在毫無顧慮壓力煩惱的狀態下好好整治一番這裏了，塵都鋪了厚厚一層了omg。

最後一個學期終於于上個星期圓滿結束，雖然后半段有點手足無措卻也有驚無險地度過了。然後也算順利地漸漸邁向人生的下一話，明天一早準備面試和談一些細節，一切ok的話應該下個月就完全是 all by myself。壓力三大不是開玩笑der okkkk (擦汗)

休息中的一個星期裏，我感受了4年來從未真正享受過的自在與快樂。我可以不用鬧鐘，不需要每天規劃著時間表，24小時處於不安和因多睡了一個小時而感到愧疚。
我可以很輕松地迎接每一個早晨，看看書，喝杯咖啡。累了就賴在床，無聊就開車出去吃吃喝喝。真的該好好珍惜！

我要去睡覺了 ~ bye bye

有在策劃著一些改變和把這空間轉型的事，祝我一切順利吧！大家一起為未來加油!

不要再將不喜歡, 沒興趣當成逃避 發懶的藉口. 因為除了你自己, 不會再有更了解你的. 

知道這絕對不是心中所願, 不要再逃了, 逃不掉 就去他的, 往前衝就對了!!!

First term Korean Class (Thoughts)

Hey guys! Just one or two months ago I have uploaded a post which I shared about my journey of self--learning Korean and how I did it. For the past 9 years doing self learning of course I have noticed lots of pros and cons of throughout the way and in the end after many considerations (money, dream, future, time) I have decided to enroll myself for my first official korean language class in January. I have just finished my first term last week and I'm here today to share more about my experiences after attending the first term.

To ease your pain of trying to korek (dig) out my answers and comments I will do as same as the QnA session like the previous post.

1. Is language classes expensive and worth paying for?
I would not say it's cheap but affordable, for my first term I paid RM450 (8 week) and they don't count public holidays in the 8 weeks so don't worry. So it is about RM225 per month, might be ok for those who have already started working as it is only a portion of your salary probably. But I decided to take it anyway despite always living "in debt".

Language classes are usually around that range la to be honest, it won't go any much lower if you really want some quality teaching and learning. And I would say mine is really worth paying for! It's really different from how I did with self-learning (I will elaborate on this later).

2. How did your first class go? What do you learn during the first lesson?
My first class was hmm not bad? I did my placement test before I attended the first lesson and obviously I screwed up the paper. My tutor kinda gave up checking it and just handed me the exercise sheets. I didn't know my grammar is even worse than I thought until I took the placement test. Korean grammar is not as easy as I thought (cries).

Basically on the first, he evaluated on my performance and see how much I can learn and absorb in a 2 hours class. He started with all the basic korean grammar, sentence ending for noun and adjectives (입니다 , 입니까 , 습니다 , 습니까 ), object and subject particles (은/는, 을/를, 이/가). On my first class I was still working on getting used to caring so much the grammar usage. Korean grammar is really particular in the way they express a certain meaning/feelings, it would a completely different thing with just a word different.

3. What do you think of the way of teaching and learning?
The way of teaching and learning is called DSS a commonly used method in KLH at which students learn the new language on directed self-study basis. You will be given help from your tutor on the exercises given based on your learning progress. Basically, to put it in a simpler way everyone in the class might be at different level and learning at different pace and tutor will guide you based on your learning speed, so if you are a fast learner you can definitely progress faster and need not to wait for the others in the class which is of course saving a lot of time.

In my opinion, I was very comfortable with this way of learning as I already had a certain basic and I wish to strengthen my grammar and also sentences forming. I can move on as soon as I'm done with exercises and tests given, also when I have already fully absorbed what have been taught. I find learning in a big class sometimes tend to waste your time, it is either you spend most of your time waiting for others to be at the same level in order to move on to the next thing or you are too afraid of being slow and not being as "one" with the others so you pretendddd that you already understood which is definitely not a good way of learning. No worries for me la I went through so much shits learning English last time, being muka tembok (thick skinned) is one of my greatest skills just so you know.

4. Do you still recommend self-learning? Or do you think proper class should be first option?
Well, if were to let me choose again I would still prefer to do some self-learning before going for proper structured lessons. It saved me way too much time as I can just focus and work on my grammar instead of spending too much time and money on basic things like getting to know how to read, write etc. But it really depends on one's ability, some people prefer to go step by step and to be guided by tutor. 10years ago I didn't have that ability to pay that much for extra classes and Korean tuition class in my place was way harder than kena toto (exaggerated abit). I remember there was only one place that taught Japanese, basic that kind somemore.

So yea, if you're financially constrained and wish to not spend too much on foreign language classes, self learning could be a good choice!

5. How are you progressing so far?
There is one thing I really love about KLH is their module, it's all structured and arranged accordingly so it makes it really easy from me to go from this to the next. If you get what I'm trying to say, they start from the most basic grammar usage you would probably see it everywhere, the more common ones and once you got all the basic in mind they moved on to the harder and more complicated parts. It is something very different from me learning using those korean guidance textbook where the syllabus can just jump here and there so sometimes you will encounter much complicated grammar even only in the first two chapters.

As for now, I'm progressing quite well I think? I usually get to complete at least 2 sheets of grammar exercise per session included past year Reading and Listening test paper too within the 2 hours class. I think cause I worked really hard so I don't find it an issue catching up with the pace. I'm actually having lots of fun learning too, it is some kind of self satisfaction when you accomplished something. Especially when I managed to finish my homework within half an hour or scored 100 for test kekeke
Yes, it's possible to score 100 and even 200 full marks for the TOPIK exam (beginner level) cause the questions basically surround simple grammar usage and those common vocabs used in songs or drama, hmm well that's if you watch drama frequently. Knowing vocab is another thing, and it is something you can't just rush outta it.

6. Will you continue with the next term?
I'm already on my 2nd term and two classes before it ends. I have also decided to continue with 3rd term despite the busy schedule I have now with my school assignment (final sem architecture). But I have this very strong will to keep me going so I think I will be fine? Trust me, it's not something that hard or dreadful to be done, as long as your interest in there you will just go with the flow and progress smoothly.

One more thing, language is something you need to keep practicing so if possible try not to give up half way if you already get yourself into it. It really takes awhile for you to pick up the pace again. It is better if you keep practicing and fork out a little time everyday to do some work/exercises, watching korean speakers videos help too! It helps me lot in improving listening skill, beginner might not be too familiar with the accent and pronunciation of native korean speakers so you would want to keep it a habit to get familiarized with them.

This is the channel I subscribed to on youtube and it is called "Talk to me in Korean"
https://www.youtube.com/user/talktomeinkorean
They have short videos or sound clips which they will have people speaking in Korean of normal conversations, daily life, activities and etc, which some topics are actually quite interesting!

7. What do I need to equip myself with before attending the class?
Patience and persistence, do not give up easily when you are having a hard time remembering vocabs, grammar or conversation. I'm not good in speaking as well but I'm trying to read out every sentences just so I can train myself to have the ability to pronounce in the right way. To be able to have a conversation, it does require a certain level of understanding in their sentences forming and grammar besides knowing enough vocabs. So be patient, you will get there someday if you work hard and keep trying!

8. Is TOPIK exam necessary?
This is up to individual's choice, some people learn Korean because they like it and they see it as a hobby or interest. Well some might wish to be qualified in something for job entries or for scholarship application. But it is really no harm if you don't like the trouble of taking exam. To be honest, the beginner TOPIK I exam is not that hard as you thought. As for myself, my wish is to achieve advanced level of TOPIK II and have the chance to pursue further studies in Korean in Korea, yea that's my aim so I'm preparing myself for the coming exam in Oct.

I think that's all I wish to share in this post, feel free to drop me a message at the comment box if you wish to know more about learning Korean. I will try my best to answer you!

Cheers xoxo

我的心情有點灰...

距離畢業的日子越接近, 我好像越顯得急躁.. 我被迫駛向一個未被開發的終點站, 也許根本還算不上個總結.
對於畢業後的日子, 我不安於室的小小心臟, 不受控制的大腦好像試圖把我分裂, 心中所想一直沒辦法和理智線達成共識. 你們要乖啊, 這麼的焦躁不安好嗎?

心是衝動, 不可一世的狂妄.. 可是沉穩的腦袋總是靜悄悄地 : "這樣好嗎? 這樣對嗎?"
也許真的沒辦法取決於對/錯, 我停留在一個虛擬不真實的空間, 一個想兩全其美的貪婪之心, 一個大家無法觸碰的灰色地帶.

我的底線何其深, 何其遠, 無法預料.
我自覺是流動體, 隨波漂流, 世界之大總有容我身之處.. 可是我對於這大染缸扮演的是甚麼角色? 我還是當初的我嗎? 是否該屈服於現實之下, 還是該拋下這繁瑣的枷鎖, 走向心中所願? 是否如想像中瀟灑自在, 是否拋得開塵世的流言蜚語? 我把自己問傻了, 把盡存的細數, 好像也真的不多了. 走吧, 你也是否和我一樣?

好好

想好好過日子
想好好賺錢花錢
想好好體驗生活
想好好築夢
想好好地..

想好好做人
想好好吃喝拉撒
想好好大哭大笑
想好好爆走
想好好耍任性
想好好撒嬌
想好好地..

要好好地, 好好的..

*我沒有心情低落, 反之對未來滿滿憧憬. 科科

Filling (Feeling) the Puzzles

So what do I yearn for and where do I search for? The missing piece...

Graduating in less than half a year seems more surreal than it already is, graduating with an architecture degree is more. Would I be walking the same path if I was given a second chance? I think the answer is a Yes. I would not have garnered so much courage if I was not braced with all these that came unexpectedly yet seemingly memorable.

Graduate also means I need to start looking for job, the path to becoming a design architect or project architect or no title at all leave me and my future in uncertainties. Future is never certain.. And having so many in my bucket list sorta bring me to suffocation, most of the time it is about money. I only have an architecture degree certification, what else can I do besides having myself in the similar field.
So much I wish to achieve and all of them involved money. Reality always slam you hard on the face, but I do believe in persistency and I will not give up easily no matter how long it takes.

Nothing comes easily, you go girl!

迟了十年的梦

現在的唯一目標， 就是把該完成的好好地華麗地結束，還有半年。

然後開始努力經營我的語文，語言也好，寫作也是，是幾十年來不變的習慣。已經習慣用文字來記錄生活事跡，早就是我的一部分。語文文學早就烙下深深的印，衹是情勢所逼衹好藏起來啦！期待未知的未來。

初生之犢

下個星期正式開啓我的十星期實習，是抱著一種既期待又怕受傷害的心情。
衹是有些事不吐不快，打從正式被錄取的那天我就心裏建設隨時會被摔爛玻璃心的（雖然真的沒那麽脆弱啦）不過我是真的清楚接下來要過的日子。不是只聼好聽的，而是已聽了太多負面評語。必要嗎？把所有事都往壞的方向想，真的日子會過得比較快活？23年來，就是很轉牛角尖的想錯了很多事，做錯很多決定，新的一年我想開始學習正面思考。

想想人生有多少原本美好的事就是被心中那討厭的負能量給抹殺，夠了！我想的比你們任何人還多，想過的還是做了同樣的決定自有我的原因道理。不是看得比較多，懂得比較多，就一定都對。我從以前一直活得擔驚受怕，過得很拘束，因爲把一件事所會引發的其他所有壞事都想一遍，以爲這樣就會有所準備。錯了，我過得更不自在因爲就會開始覺得這些壞事隨時會發生。

我真的衹想輕鬆過日子，不是天真，衹是單純人生裏需要點甜的。

脫離少女之肺腑感言

哦買噶，我生日了。來快點祝我生日快樂！（瞪）
Technically我是剛23嵗，可是沒人在理幾月生這回事，所以幾天后總會自動增長一歲。好像不太划算厚。不過我也不是很在乎啦，童顔沒辦法，我永遠16。（甩髮）
肺腑感言其實沒有啦，我衹是來騙點閱率而已。廢話就有一堆，要聽嗎？不要也行，右上角請。

年紀越大越對生日（or任何其他節日）不再抱有任何憧憬。（長大了哦）反正日子也是一樣過，一樣要睜開眼面對這世界，吃飯，講話，睡覺，發懶，碎碎念也就過去了。唯一在乎的是與家人的生日晚餐啦！（我明晚就去吃韓國料理了，生日最大）在生日當天吃對食物很重要！會影響我一整天的期待感和心情。最近減肥中，所以偶爾一次大餐是很值得感動的事。我能順便在這許個願嗎？再幾天就新的一年了嘛，最希望一整年都過得順利，順利完成實習，順利結束臺灣之旅，順利完成最後一個學期，順利畢業，順利找到工作，順利考得TOPIK文憑，順利結婚生子（開玩笑的），然後不要再有不好的事發生了。會學著以平常心面對一切！

最後非常重要的第三個願望，我要瘦下來！我要擠進貼身牛仔褲，我要穿起緊身裙也不覺得彆扭，我要坦蕩蕩露出我的肚皮！（不再是肚腩）ok？ok?

好啦，我累了。明天記得再補充。

My thoughts about self-learning Korean (How I did it)

I actually wanted to write a post of this topic quite awhile ago then I stumbled across a Singaporean blogger's blog few days ago which she wrote about her journey of learning Korean and Japanese where she began from self-learning and it is quite similar to my situation so I guess maybe I can give my two cents too? Not sure if it would help anyone out there but just wish to share what I know so far. And I will go by the usual question and answer form so you get to know it clearer.

Q : How do you feel about self-learning a completely new language? Was it hard for you?

It was not hard at all for me to be honest, I started receiving info and knowledge of foreign language when I was 14 cause I was so into Kpop and it used to make me feel closer to my oppas (roll eyes). So ya I was already very interested in it when I started so I could say I learned and adapt quite fast. And what I wish to say here is everything is not tough anymore if you really like it (smiles).

Q : How and where did you learn it? 

10 years back I was not really good with net surfing and all so I started off with copying lyrics. I used to buy those albums and they always came with a lyrics booklet so I would normally copied them down to a notebook and translated word by word. I didn't even know what I was copying but I just wrote them down and translated to romanization. And I did that every day without fail, anyhow I will squeeze out an hour or so every single day to copy them. Basically I learned my pronunciation from listening to Korean songs (I can listen to the same song for more than 10 times a day, and Korean songs blasting day to night).

I would also looked up to online tutorials when I got more familiar with the whole internet thing. What I did was I downloaded some of the worksheets (for beginners) and tried to do them with the help of google translator and dictionaries. I actually bought quite a few Korean grammar books, I was really picky in getting these guide books. I suggest you to get those without translation/romanization (especially those translated using chinese words, they sound really funny and you would probably get mislead and also to prevent you from being too dependent on the translation given). I prefer translating everything on my own in my mind but it is also better to do some short notes sometimes. This was how I learned to read fast (without knowing 100% the meaning though) but good enough to read lyrics (raises eyebrow)

Q : Do you need to spend a lot of time in it since you're doing self-learning?

Not really, as I mentioned I would spend an hour or two sometimes less if I was busy with exam preparation or so. But doing it everyday keep you fresh and attended, because it is not something that we learn since young so it definitely needs longer time for us to process the info received. I would suggest the beginners to try practicing every day, even just half an hour from writing, listening or reading. It helps really, trust me. It is all about persistence here, you can't rush.

Q : How do you know if pronounce correctly since you have no tutor to correct you?

HAHA, at this stage google is quite helpful but not all the time. I watched many Korean dramas and listened to close to or maybe more than 1000 Korean songs already in the past 10 years. And I really like repeating the lines in drama (sometimes pretending I was the one acting), I would follow what and how they said it for a few times, listened to myself and repeat the lines for a few times to check if I did it correctly. Besides, I watched short videos too and I will repeat the scenes again and again till I got to listen clearly of what the person saying. I'm quite fussy in pronunciation, be in for other languages as well. I always try my best to speak as accurate as possible cause to be honest it sounds annoying to me when people strengthen on the "r" so much when they say saranghae (roll eyes). Of course I'm not the best, but I always try my best.

Q : How do you understand if you are watching something without subtitles?

Because I only did self-learning all these while so I have very very bad grammar. I could understand words and short sentences but not formal and long ones. But I can still understand about 50-70% depending on what kind of videos. As for songs a little bit more as they are usually about the same (especially love songs). I used to force myself to watch videos without subtitles just so I could practice my listening and also get my brain used to this language. For me it worked quite well, cause I improved quite a lot in my listening and I sometimes watch drama without subtitles and still know if the boy loves the girl or not, or he is dying from some disease bla bla (smirks). Simple to average is fine for me but big NO NO for ancient story background kind of drama, I understand nothing cause I know not much about formal language (I really wish I could understand them one day though). Overall, I think it is about practice again. Try it once in awhile to watch a short video without looking at the subs and force yourself (not like force force la if you get what I mean) to understand it and remember the meaning of each line. It definitely made a difference after some time.

Q : Where and how did you practice it?

I talk to myself a lot (no I'm not crazy), and I sing. I used to own a Korean twitter thing called me2day, and it was where I made friends with Korean people. And I tried to chat with them in my very very broken Korean I was lucky la most of them too kind and complemented on my Korean (which was quite bad actually at that stage but I used to think I quite geng hahahah) so it gave me lots of courageous to use Korean more in my daily life. I tried to write short passage or sentences in my secret notebook (now gone liao) or I would just post it on me2day since nobody used it (my friends only Jenn knows la).

Oh there was a thing I did too, quite rude actually. I listened to people's conversation every time when I met Korean people around me. (kepoh I know) but I wanted to try understanding what they saying cause Korean speak 10 times faster than what you hear from your whatever guide CDs or tutorial videos. I failed la most of the time, still adapting to their speed of speaking (sighs).

There was a time I really got to practice it though, I went Korean for a trip in around 2011. I chatted a lot to the driver who brought us around. He was like appa to all of us and I actually called him that too. I would always go next to him while waiting for the others before we left to next station and tried my best to make conversation. And through our conversation I found out that he has a son studying in KyungHee who is a few years elder than me and he also went around telling people (restaurant owners most of the time) I was cute (I said WAS ah not cute anymore I know). At the end of the trip he even wrote his phone number down in my notebook and told me to contact him if I was going to come Korea again (cause I told him I wanted to pursue Korean language in Korea). I tried to speak Korean to them locals too when I was asking for stuffs or buying things instead of speaking English to them. Ok back to story, so I think it is really great if you have someone to talk to in order for you to really practice it in real life but I never tried speaking Korean to my korean friend before la I paiseh. (last time buey paiseh see people I talked ba liao)

Q : Do you think self-learning is enough to master it?

I do not think it's enough for you to really master it through only self-learning. Because most of the time you need to speak and write a lot for you to fully adapt into using the language cause it is not our mother tongue afterall. And we forget easily after few months not using it (me la goldfish memory). It's really better if you can sign up for class after reaching more than average level, and try to get tutors who speak Korean as native cause it is where you get to learn the most accurate information, pronunciation especially. But I think there are still people who managed to master the language despite doing only self-learning (cause you know genius everywhere). I strongly suggest you to start with self-learning though at the beginning stage, quite a waste of money if you spend few hundreds just to learn how to read the basic which you can always learn from internet.

After writing this post I think I should have done this a lot earlier, I always wish to share useful info on my site instead of spamming with my emotional posts. Oh ya, I just signed up for Korean class as I think it is really time for me to make it to a more advanced level, I have stopped half way for way too long already wasted a few years time in between. I hope whatever I have said could help any of you out there who is interested in picking up a new language but too afraid of wasting too much money on it. So self-learning it is! It is not hard at all trust me, anyhow you will find a way to get there if you really have a strong interest here.

See you in the next post!

Year End Thoughts

It is the time of the year again and here I am jotting down every single thoughts that come across my mind just so I don't forget even a single bit of how I feel right now.

2016 is a year full with emotions,

roller coaster ride with thoughts of giving up haunting me, of course I didn't.

And I think I ended up being stronger than ever.

First half of the year was when I had short semester, together with the juniors of lower semester. It was definitely a pleasant journey cause it was not just my first time leading such a big sub group but also the first time I question about my capability. Guess I really thought too high about myself most of the time. So I learned to be patient, to be more humble. And feeling more grateful than before to be blessed with great teammates and tutors. Yes it made hell big difference.

What came next was the 4th semester of my degree year which I called it hell. (smiles) Guess most of the people know why and I don't want to talk too much about it anymore. Keep ranting about the same issue won't make me look any better so yea at least it's over! But it was the time I broke down the most, crying almost every one or two days and to the edge of "YES THIS IS IT FLIP TABLE" I have that thoughts so easily I noticed but same thing I sucked everything in and went through every hardships given (flips hair like a boss). Really I never knew I could be this strong before enrolling myself into this course, both mentally and also physically. But thank goodness, it ended well enough too. Again, I'm extremely thankful for always having angels around me to help me out when I need them most, be it just emotional support or physical ones. Guys, it helped a lot...

Slowly I realized, the more I'm doing it the more I wish it could just end as soon as possible.. More and more struggles I have faced with my inner self conscious. I have to fight with myself every single day without fail, telling myself to stay strong and finish everything. My day will come, my time my glory will soon be there...

Semester 5 just ended weeks ago, the craziest semester ever with very very little sleep in between. The only long sleep I would get was probably after submissions (half of time not cause the submissions continued after one another), you will find breathing wasting your time too no joke. And some dramas happened too, it was not well managed enough I have to admit but what needed to be done have been done, we will see. Academic wise, I think I have done quite ok despite the heavy workload thrown at me (all of us) I handled them pretty well. And I cried no more! okay I only cried once the day before studio submission when 3Ds max decided to fail me last minute. But I kept praying and tadahhhh everything went smoothly in the end! Guess a strong mentality is what keeps me alive till today! Even the boyfie was surprised at how chill I was at coping with most of the things, at least I don't go to his place and cry all day all night anymore.

I'm actually happy at how much I have changed compared to the first few semester, definitely growing up! Daddy please be proud of me hehe

Disclaimer : I do not think crying is the best way to solve an issue but definitely not considered as something bad to be done too. It was a way of mine to release my emotions and it harms no one so why not? At the end of the day I still managed to finish up my part and I definitely felt better!

Soon after the semester ended, as it draws closer to the end of my degree life. I did a lot of thinking lately, since I have nothing else to do other than just sitting there. I question a lot on my decision, did I even regret getting myself into this? I have to say, I did but not much. And I'm actually quite glad that I went through these years doing something I was not really interested nor good at it. 

It thought me a lot to be honest, and I was hit by this sudden realization of how I should really start planning about my future. Of what I really love and wish to do for the rest of my life, my life is already set to be inseparable from languages and I know it so well. It was a missing piece from me for the past 10 years, a big part of me still long for it very very much. So I have made up some plans for 2017 and please wish me luck on making them come true! Need them lots!

2017 is definitely a better year to look forward to, I always believe that things only get better if you believe that they will. And how bad could it be provided I have already gone through the worst days for the first half of 2016. There are so many things I'm anticipating too! 

Internship, language class, Taiwan trip, graduation and my completely new life!!!

At the end of this post, I would like to dedicate my appreciation to every single person who had helped in any way, every way be it good or bad. Thank you just thank you for shaping me into ME today. Never would have gone this far without these great ones surrounding.

k going to continue my kdrama binge.

Inside Out

Wishlist

Ahhh just simply feel like writing them down in case I forget you know,
There are way too many times I wish to achieve in the coming future but baby steps I will do it slowly, nailing all down one by one.

First let me talk about life achievement,
I used to have many many things I wish to achieve and complete especially when I'm still enjoying the oh-so-great uni life but slowly I come to notice that it's impossible with so many limitations around.

1. Complete my Japanese language study
I talked about this endless time for many years already, I have yet to tick it off my wishlist. The reason being I don't think I have enough love for it like what I have for Korean. Time shouldn't be an issue if I really love something, so I think my love for it is not great enough for me to make sacrifices for it over other things. But I know I will check this off sooner or later, it's just a matter of "when"?

2. Do something meaningful to someone/myself
Meaningful I mean by something life-changing, I'm not a kind hearted person I need to admit this and sometimes hated myself for revealing the ugly and evil inner sides. I personally feel disgusted by it la and I really wanna throw this part of myself away, and focus only on the positivity. It's easier said than done really, it's never easy to just erase something that has been inside of you for so long, I try to be nice try to be patient try to be as easy as it needs, it's not working that well yet I suppose. By taking this huge step of accepting I ain't saint, ain't angel but a devil in heart, it's something so overwhelming and I sometimes choose to run away from it. Embracing and admitting to your own faults/flaws has never been easy, to me and to many others. I'm trying...

3. Somehow find out what I'm really good at
Okay about this I have no idea to be honest, you can say I'm pretty good at most of the things and also pretty bad at them. I mean I'm just a so so person. I don't know what I'm really good at, zero confidence. The only I know, I love words I love reading I love writing. BUT I certainly know I'm not good enough for it. And again I'm trying, maybe not now but 10 or 15 years later who knows?

4. Gather enough courage to pick up what's been missed
I wouldn't tell, so you guess. If you know me enough ;)


Ok, now I'm done with the serious part.. quite. Some silly and stupid thoughts I have in mind, don't judge la I know most of the girls do. Some quite serious still la not as the one above, hmm just something I wish to do.

1. I wanna be financially stable to support my ever-growing shopaholic inner soul
I shop so much I don't even want to stop, I wish I can buy everything I see and I love. Every girl's dream la k?

2. I wish I would stop aging (which is of course IMPOSSIBRUUU)
I'm starting to seek for anti-aging products everywhere, any nice or good brand intro please! Especially those which help to reduce wrinkles, way too many around my eyes. Oh yea, and better skin complexion, had enough of the acne man!

3. I wish to grow this platform to a bigger family
I really love sharing my thoughts to other people although I hate the consequences of affecting people's life in the end. Whatever you think is right to take in, you filter yourself. I don't like faking myself to be an angel, this is my own space anyway *smirks* So far my posts have yet to contain vulgarities, still safe no worries.

I wish I can have more time to manage this space, so that it won't be dead in awhile again. Dead way to many times hor, die so many times how can?

To be continued...

憶 . 臺灣

臺北昆明街

淡水

漁人碼頭

九份

十分瀑布

苗栗 . 上山回家

東海藝術街

日月潭之包船初體驗

大可居 . 早餐之想念香港來的你們了

再見 . Taiwan

去年的這段期間，第一次到臺灣去。比起旅行更像是冒險，可我享受這樣肆無忌彈拼了命玩樂的感覺。一覺醒來就是繼續步行到下一個新地點，所有事物都好新鮮好惹人喜歡。喜歡臺灣人的那一份溫暖，對人對事都很有耐心，就算你閑逛了整家店什麽都不買，他們都會給予你一個微笑。

每天期待著會到怎麽樣的地方去，會遇見怎樣的人，會看見什麽事物，會吃到什麽好吃的 (笑) 。好吧，我就是個吃貨。其實還有很多還沒嘗到，因爲胃口都不太好。有機會再回去我一定要吃夠本！

一年了，周遭一切也應該不同了。不變的是，我想再次啓程去“探險”的心！

Welcome back!

photo credits to my friend, Sang Won.

Omg it has been so so so long since my last blogpost, more than a year already to be exact. And within these few months, I kinda lost my interest in writing yea.. so I decided to take a break from this blogging thing. Somehow I switched my ranting space to dayre, so in a way I'm still writing but not as formal and not as much as before.

As I believe writing is suppose to be made my hobby, something that makes me happier instead of making me get cautious or feel worried to be judged or commented by others. I lost myself a little too as I noticed my writing style changed, I was getting more careful in my words and somewhat started sugarcoating my life too. I definitely disliked seeing myself that way so the long hiatus was probably a great decision.

What makes me feel like reviving this space?

Spotted some really nice blogspot templates by chance and I really wanna use them but I don't think they are appropriate nor suit with the style of my educational/portfolio blog so k la I think maybe I can bring some joy and lives back here.


Will I still update as much as before?

I can't guarantee this as my life is pretty much as hectic as usual, endless nights working on assignments and stuffs. But I will see, I will write something whenever I want to just no nice photos/images all time la so bear with it.

Do I still enjoy writing?

Yes, I still do. Just that I switched the whole thing to a smaller and less noticed platform as I got more uncomfortable revealing my life to others. In a way I'm getting more conscious about the affections I might bring to them who read my posts, be it good or bad I just don't feel comfortable bearing the responsibilities.

What should I write about then for the coming posts?

I think of focusing on topics that benefit others, more on reviews, thoughts and personal comments/feelings. I realized that some bloggers/bloggers-wannabe out there are getting less and less sincere, they make everything look extra nice and pretty when they are actually not. Of course I'm talking about the minority here, I still love bloggers like Audrey, Timothy Tiah and Cheesie as you can feel the effort they put into every single post they wrote, they don't sugar coat the reality, write or post nice photos just to make them look nice. I'm actually sicked of reading those fantasized and exaggerated posts already.
So I will just try my best to voice out what I really think/feel about something, someone. This is the one thing I can promise la, to whoever still willing to read my blog loooo.

Till then!