Beginner to Intermediate

Hey to my non existed readers/followers (I don't know if anyone still read blog now)

It has been awhile since the last update about my Korean language learning progress, so I'm here to update a little. 

I had actually completed the beginner level (equivalent to TOPIK Level 1 & 2) in last year November in KLH before I flew off to Korea for my trip. And I also took the TOPIK I exam in last October and passed the exam with a Level 2, am very satisfied with the results although I secretly aimed for full marks but I'm finally another step closer to my goal.

To be honest, it was not easy to keep this going because of the sounds coming around. People asked and wondered about my purpose of doing Korean language, they have doubts on my decision. I did got lost for awhile so I actually stopped all my classes after coming back from my trip and have yet to sign myself up for the Intermediate class. 

I asked myself, what exactly was the purpose of me first started joining the class? I did not have a certain answer till today. But along the way I realized, you don't always need an ultimate goal or a valid/practical reason for you to learn something do you? It is kinda similar as you don't expect your kid grow up to be the next Van Gogh when you send them to art classes, so you get my point here?

Learning is the fun part of living, and I sometimes find it dreadful to learn if you were to do it because of some other purposes. I find joy in learning languages I don't need a reason, and I'm not responsible for the answers either. People find joy in cooking so they attend cooking classes, does that make them a chef? Not really. 

I see myself as who I really am when I'm picking a new languages, I like how I go from not knowing a single thing about a new language to finally being able to read and understand. It is an adventurous event to me. As I'm writing this post I have finally gathered enough courage to sign up for the Intermediate class, it is just going to tougher but I really can't wait!

And I can't wait for my next adventure!! 

Quarter life crisis? Yes? No?

I read a post this afternoon, it meant something like this :

We should never rush ourselves into the stages of how the commons would go just because "Ah everyone is going that way so I should too!"
Everyone has and should have their own timeline, no one is ever meant to follow the same suit as the other. I mean WHO the hell said that getting married at the age of 28 and being successful by the age of 30 equals to "Living a good life/Fulfilling the purpose of life/Achieving the lifegoals etc etc" the list goes on I suppose.

It hit me right away?

I was like that, well I mean I might be having the same thought still.

I was brought up in a very typical traditional chinese family which you rarely get complimented on your achievement cause that's your duty as a child, in fact feeling worried about making mistakes or taking the wrong steps because yea again your duty as a child is NOT to make a single mistake and be well.
I grow up being questioned about every decision I make, from the choice of major, choice of school, choice of friends, boyfriends, choice of words. Yes almost all of them. I didn't mean that all of those brought any hazards to me or my life and of course they all meant good in their own ways. Because I know Asian parents are set to bring kids up that way. There is no right of wrong is just a different way of education.

I'm not blaming anyone on this but this kind of background has eventually making me fear of everything I do. From the simplest thing of choosing a pair of shoes to choosing a master degree or a school. I fear of the uncertainties, I fear of the "unforeseen" failures or traps as I was always told. I fear of being again said "told you to not do this, now you see!" And I'm trapped...

And now I can't even choose for myself what the best for me? I'm being told to follow their choice their decision just because it is the road MORE taken. hmm ok? I'm not even sure I will end up regretting doing it or not doing it.

I am always living in regrets, and it doesn't help in moving on at all. Where would this stop? When would I ever stop hearing these noises around my head? When would I ever pick up the courage to take the first step?