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Quarter life crisis? Yes? No?

January 30, 2018
I read a post this afternoon, it meant something like this :

We should never rush ourselves into the stages of how the commons would go just because "Ah everyone is going that way so I should too!"
Everyone has and should have their own timeline, no one is ever meant to follow the same suit as the other. I mean WHO the hell said that getting married at the age of 28 and being successful by the age of 30 equals to "Living a good life/Fulfilling the purpose of life/Achieving the lifegoals etc etc" the list goes on I suppose.

It hit me right away?

I was like that, well I mean I might be having the same thought still.

I was brought up in a very typical traditional chinese family which you rarely get complimented on your achievement cause that's your duty as a child, in fact feeling worried about making mistakes or taking the wrong steps because yea again your duty as a child is NOT to make a single mistake and be well.
I grow up being questioned about every decision I make, from the choice of major, choice of school, choice of friends, boyfriends, choice of words. Yes almost all of them. I didn't mean that all of those brought any hazards to me or my life and of course they all meant good in their own ways. Because I know Asian parents are set to bring kids up that way. There is no right of wrong is just a different way of education.

I'm not blaming anyone on this but this kind of background has eventually making me fear of everything I do. From the simplest thing of choosing a pair of shoes to choosing a master degree or a school. I fear of the uncertainties, I fear of the "unforeseen" failures or traps as I was always told. I fear of being again said "told you to not do this, now you see!" And I'm trapped...

And now I can't even choose for myself what the best for me? I'm being told to follow their choice their decision just because it is the road MORE taken. hmm ok? I'm not even sure I will end up regretting doing it or not doing it.

I am always living in regrets, and it doesn't help in moving on at all. Where would this stop? When would I ever stop hearing these noises around my head? When would I ever pick up the courage to take the first step?
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